Dear Annie: My brother-in-law, "Fred," has been married to my sister for 20 years. The problem is, he discards items that aren't his, and he does it without asking.
I know Fred likes things very tidy, but at a recent family gathering, he removed some signs on the walls that were displayed for renters. When I asked why, he said it was "a joke," but the signs never reappeared. Yesterday, I noticed a coffee mug in the wastebasket. Fred said he couldn't clean it, so he tossed it, but I washed it fairly easily. And by the way, this is MY coffee mug.
Fred's a nice enough guy, but his behavior seems to be worsening. How do I approach this? Should I just let it drop until he throws out something valuable? – Irritated Sister-In-Law
Dear Irritated: We've asked a few doctors about Fred's problem, and were told it could be an obsessive-compulsive disorder, a control issue or something else altogether. Such behaviors can get worse if they are not addressed.
First, tell Fred directly that he is not to throw out any items that belong to you. Then, suggest to your sister that Fred be evaluated by a psychotherapist, and she might also check the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation (ocfoundation.org), 676 State St., New Haven, CT 06511.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Torn in Tacoma," asking how many previous sexual partners it is appropriate for a woman to have had. You basically told him it had less to do with the number than with her character.
But really, Annie, how many is too many? 10? 30? 100? How honest is a woman expected to be? My first serious girlfriend said I was her first, but I found out I was her fourth. I met my wife in college. When I asked about her past, she said, "I swear, only you and my old boyfriend." You know where I'm going with this.
After 12 years of marriage, I discovered I am not even in the top five. Her mom dropped off a bunch of things at our house, including old letters. I found out there were MANY men before me. I think about this every day and can't let it go. What do I do now? – Losing It in North Carolina
Dear Losing It: We know this information is a shock for you, but try to accept that what happened before you became involved with your wife is not part of your life together. You should have known if she had a child or if her previous sexual life caused a medical problem or gave her an STD, but that's it. When you questioned her, she no doubt felt obligated to lie in order to protect your feelings and maintain the relationship – which she obviously values. If you can't get past this, it's time to see a counselor, with or without her, and figure out how best to handle it.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Wishing It Weren't So in Wisconsin," who has no intimate contact with his wife. My husband could have written that letter.
When we first married, I kept the house spotless, dressed nicely and had a wonderful meal ready for him, despite having four children and a job. He never said so much as "thanks." In addition, I always had something new to try in the bedroom. He never reciprocated.
I've begged him to be more responsive, but he remains happy with the basics. I got tired of being the only one to crave intimacy, and sex is now just one more chore. Maybe if "Wishing" tried to be more romantic when he wasn't looking for sex, his wife would comply. I know I would. – In Misery in Michigan
Dear Misery: We don't know if this was "Wishing's" problem, but any husband who thinks it may be his, take a hint. Bring your wife some flowers tonight.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2006 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
Entertainment
Annie's Mailbox-Bring your wife some flowers
- Entertainment
-
-
3rd Annual Breakfast with Santa
Classic Diner located at 105 E. Pitt Street in Tarboro has dedicated three years to serving children and their families with their annual "Breakfast with Santa" holiday event. This year, a special young lady will be granted the opportunity to have a private breakfast with Santa Claus, and according to Manager, Mandy Ray, everyone is in for a tasty treat.
-
‘A Christmas Carol’
The Tar River Players opened their seventh season with a gala production of Charles Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol” this past weekend playing to a capacity crowd in McIntyre Auditorium.
“We were thrilled with the turnout for the first weekend of “A Christmas Carol” and even more excited by the responses we’ve received from those who have attended,” said Director Roberta Cashwell. -
Flythe to sing in ‘A Holly Day Celebration’
Experience "A Holly Day Celebration" with Tarboro native, Kaitlyn Flythe as she collaborates with Ronnie Ezzel and Southern Comfort 7 p.m. Saturday, at the Edna Boykin Center in Wilson. Tickets for the holiday celebration will be sold in advance for $12 and $15 at the door. Children who are five years of age or younger can enter for free.
The audience will have the chance to sing along to a variety of songs and engage in a concert that consists of solos, duets, comedy, group songs and also a patriotic tribute to U.S. veterans. -
Coco's search for talent
Coco Rozier has come full circle as a storyteller of music. This international soulful songstress has traveled the world and now plans on giving residents of Edgecombe County and surrounding areas a chance to shine.
-
Leary Performs Poe's "Hop Frog"
Roman Leary, Edgecombe Memorial Library director, pulled off another brilliant performance Friday night as he presented Edger Allen Poe’s short story, “Hop Frog” to a packed house.
-
Chapel is one of a kind
Saint Anne's Chapel was the center of attention at the Tarboro Kiwanis Club meeting Tuesday night.
New President, Ronnie Daughtry handed the honor of presenting speaker, Kevin Wilson, to former President, Wayne Boyette.
The frame of Wilson's speech centered around the renovation of Saint Anne's Chapel and upcoming events for the community. - Playing at Parkhill Cinema 3
- With ‘The Sopranos’ finale, Tony’s destiny seems clear
-
Celeste Ray brings Celtic harmonies to town
- Area Events
- More Entertainment Headlines
-
Ravi Spared Prison in Rutgers Webcam Case
Miss. Prison Quiet After Riot; 1 Dead
Obama Confident Afghans Can Take Security Lead
Raw Video: Deadly Bombing at Yemen Parade Preps
Professor: Chinese Activist's 'Spirit Is Good'
Ring of Fire Eclipse Seen in U.S., Asia
Golden Gate Bridge Celebrates 75 Years
G-8 Seeks Unity on Euro-debt Crisis, Iran
Prosecutors: Trio Planned to Attack Obama's HQ
Obama: G8 Unified in Stance on Iran, Syria
